Dying Is Easy
by Suneater
Summary: A choice has to be made, someone must stay and someone must suffer. In a no win scenario what is the right choice?
1. Dying Is Easy

And why not death rather than living torment? - William Shakespear

* * *

He watched as they burned the shroud.

The others spoke some words, shed tears, held hands, mourned her loss. Percy just watched.

The others drifted off. Hazel and Frank walked off together, Leo was pulled away by Piper, Clarissa stormed off swearing, Nico slipped into the shadows, and the rest followed. Jason was the only one who stayed. Percy wanted the fire to die, wanted it so turn in to ashes and coals. Yet it kept burning.

Percy didn't notice Jason approach him. He did feel the hand on his shoulder that clenched into a shaking fist. He turned to look at the Roman in the firelight and saw the tears. Jason stared through the shifting flames, "It's a sign of respect to cry for a fellow Legionnaire." He whispered. Percy nodded and turned back to his vigil.

"I saw." Jason stated. Percy tensed and pushed the memory back.

"The others?" Percy croaked.

"No. At least I don't think so." Jason removed his hand from Percy's shoulder. "I understand why."

"Do you?" Percy said coldly.

"I couldn't have done it either, watched Piper go through that much pain, suffer through..." Jason trailed off.

Percy closed his eyes and ran through the decision again, like he had on the ship on the way back, like he had when he had called her father.

Jason didn't say anything else and Percy was glad. Condolences and placations wouldn't help and Jason knew that. They waited there until the fire finally gave its last flicker of light.

"I'll stay as long as you need." Jason spoke in the closing darkness. Percy thanked him silently and let the memory finally consume him.

_One of the others shouted for them. The sounds of fighting rang out on both sides of the doors. In the days they had been trapped here they had never relented, never given them a chance to breath. Now they saw their prey slipping away and came for them with a furry. _

_Percy and Annabeth fought the waves of attacks back, neither willing to turn to the doors first. Both knew what the other would do if given the chance. Percy was doing his best to fend off the attacks but was being pressed back. He was forced to react when a figure tried to slip behind them. He dove on the Cyclops and rent its chest open causing it to dissolve before him. _

_That's when he felt her hand on his side. She used his momentum against him and sent him towards the doors but he turned and grabbed her arm. He saw the monsters surge up behind her and met her eyes. _

_He knew he could have done it. Could have pulled her past him, sent her through the doors and closed them himself. He could have shouted a last goodbye, told her he loved her one more time. He imagined her safe with the others, saw her screaming for him, crying for him. He imagined the others having to drag her away. Imagined the pain she would carry everyday. Then Percy thought about loosing her and the torment it would cause him. To live everyday without his other half, to never be with her. To suffer everyday with the death of the only person who really and truly mattered. _

_He squeezed her arm and felt her try and break free, try and stop him from changing their places. _

_Instead he let her go and watched the doors close. _

Percy felt Jason grab him as he fell. He gripped his friend's shirt and tried to hold himself up, tried to hold himself together. It was all too much. Standing in front of the smoldering coals, holding onto his friend, he broke down and finally cried. This was the burden he had chosen to bear.

He would suffer so she wouldn't have to.

* * *

**A/N: This is where I'm going to defend the story. **

**I know the popular theory out there is that if one of the two of them has to close the doors and sacrifice themselves it would be Percy. While that seems romantic I don't believe it is. Percy knows the one thing he can never do is abandon Annabeth and I honestly don't think he would close the doors. I think he would understand the amount of pain doing so would cause her and choose to suffer that himself. But that's just my opinion. **

**Please review and let me know what you think he would do. **


	2. Living Is Hard

I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard. - Gayle Forman

* * *

Annabeth watched her raven haired boy break down in the arms of his friend.

When Jason lowered him to the ground she knelt next to him and reached out to push his hair out of his face but stopped short. She wouldn't be able to move the hair, he wouldn't even be able to feel it. He didn't know that she was here, he would never know she had been there for him. Her heart tore a little.

She had closed the doors for him, pushed him through because her hubris had won out in the end. She had believed she could save him. Annabeth had sacrificed herself so for once he wouldn't have to. Instead she forced him to suffer the rest of his life. "I thought it would be better this way," she whispered. "I knew you would try and save me, I knew if I gave you the chance you would sacrifice yourself for me but that's not what I wanted. I wanted... I want you to be happy. So when I had the chance to save you, I took it. I'm sorry Percy." Annabeth remembered the feeling of her hand against his side, feeling his hand grasp her arm. For a second she had feared he was going to pull her through and ruin her plan. She had looked into his eyes, felt his hand clench, then he had let go.

Annabeth snapped her head up. "You didn't. Percy, you didn't. That look in your eyes, I should have realized. I should have known!" Annabeth started to shed her silent tears. "You knew! You knew what I was going to do! What was going to happen and you let it! You let me stay!" She was screaming into her own personal void. "You let me go to take the pain upon yourself. Damn you, Percy Jackson! You don't get to do this to yourself! Not after all you've been through. You don't get to blame yourself for my death, you don't get to carry that pain. You self centered jackass!" She cursed him through bitter tears.

She wanted to hit him, to scream at him, to tell him what a fool he was, how stupid and arrogant and selfish he was. To tell him that he had taken her last act from her, taken her chance to give up everything for him and in the end he had put her above himself. She was furious that he had decided their fates without consulting her. Outraged that he had made this choice for her, but she knew she had done the same.

More than anything she wanted to hold him, to give him another kiss, to whisper into his ear that she loved him. That she always had and that she always would. There was so much she needed to say, so much he needed to know.

Yet all she could do was watch him a little longer.

The rage cooled and hardened into determined anger. Annabeth understood what he had done, why he had done it but that didn't make it any better. He had hurt himself so badly, cut himself so deeply she knew he wouldn't ever recover. She also knew it was all her fault.

They would be coming for her soon. They would take her to Hades and her judgment would be passed.

"I don't want to go without you, Percy. I don't want to leave you again. I love you. I need you to know that. I wish we could have had that family." She gave him a weak smile. "It would have been perfect. It means so much to me that you wanted that with me. I wont forget it." She stopped and realized she had to go.

"I'll see you in Elysium, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth reached out and cupped his face. "I'll wait for you, Percy."

* * *

**A/N: I know this is another horribly short chapter and I apologize for that but I felt I needed to show Annabeth's perspective in this scenario. **

**I realized how angry Annabeth would be if she knew what Percy had done. How distraught she would become and how she would blame herself even though it wasn't her fault. I also figured she would be angry at Percy for not telling her what he was going to do or why and become a bit hypocritical because that's exactly what she decided when she tried to save him. **

**I hope you enjoyed the story. **


End file.
